Growing up, my family spent weekends catching up on the cartoon Bob's Burgers. Something about the Belcher family's close dynamic and daily shenanigans resembled my own: down to the awkward older sister, musically gifted middle child brother, and adventurous younger sister (me). I spent six months in high school working at Panera Bread and taste-testing pastries; thus, the combination of assigning pastries to the 2D characters was born.
1. Bob Belcher - Oatmeal Raisin Cookie
Sitting at the head of the Belcher family lies Bob; the burger man who is a bit old-fashioned and dislikes change. He relies on stability and routine but is willing to do anything to protect his family. He may be a bit stubborn, and oftentimes the oatmeal cookies are tough. His dry sense of humor is embodied through a cookie that is often unpredictable in taste. Regardless, this cookie is a classic, and although it may not be everyone's first choice, it's comforting and always there for you.
2. Linda Belcher - Chocolate Croissant
Linda Belcher runs the show literally and figuratively by having the family perform multiple musical numbers and listen to her loving requests. The chocolate croissant combines flavors of sweet and savory, similar to the warmth of a mother's love. The treat is bound to brighten one's day, just like Linda's contagiously energetic personality.
3. Tina Belcher - Vanilla Cinnamon Roll
One of the quirkiest characters in the show is Tina Belcher. Being the older sister is not an easy task, especially when your younger siblings are constantly finding themselves in troubling situations. With a sweet exterior and a soft pillowy center (when heated up), the vanilla cinnamon roll represents the sticky situations Tina always seems to involuntarily find herself in. Tina is also known for her love of ~buns~ (especially Jimmy Junior's)!
4. Gene Belcher - Kitchen Sink Cookie
For the boy who loves to dabble in a little bit of everything, he receives "everything but the kitchen sink" with this cookie. From creating jingles to dressing up as the Bob's Burger restaurant mascot, Gene is a lovable character full of ideas. A kitchen sink cookie may sometimes be referred to as a "garbage cookie," which is perfect for Gene, whose smelly socks are notorious for turning away crowds. He's the king of fart noises and eating sugar, but everyone still loves him the same.
5. Louise Belcher - Candy Cookie
The youngest Belcher is the most mischievous one with a knack for plotting schemes and making the most out of everything. When she's not dragging her siblings along on an adventure, she can be seen convincing her friends and classmates to pay her for a service with candy. Thus, she deserves the candy cookie, a delicious sugar cookie topped with chocolate candies. It's a fan-favorite choice inside Panera's glass case, and Louise's hilarious personality and frequent character development arcs land her as one of the show's most adored characters.
6. Teddy the Handyman - Lemon Drop Cookie
Through thick and thin, Teddy remains loyal to the Belcher family as Bob's best friend (and one of his only friends). He occasionally gets into arguments with Bob, leaving him with a tart personality that unveils his soft side. Teddy remains an intricate character as each episode reveals new lore about his history. Each bite of a lemon drop cookie discloses a new layer of flavor as the sugar cookie contains powdered sugar, lemon zest, and even pieces of white chocolate. His friendship with Bob may be unconventional, but the contrast in an oatmeal raisin cookie pairs decently well with a lemon one.
7. Mr. Frond the Guidance Counselor - Pumpkin Muffin
Mr. Frond holds the position of the awkward and anxious guidance counselor at the Wagstaff School (where all the kids in the show attend). Pumpkin is typically an autumn flavor, but Panera keeps the muffin all year round. Similarly, Mr. Frond's actions have a certain appeal each season. He is a supporting character that Louise often describes as lonely and unliked, but the show would not be the same without him. The pumpkin muffin completes the muffin trio at Panera alongside blueberry and cranberry, and taking it out of the equation would lose this charm.
8. Jimmy Junior - Limited-time Heart Cookie
One of the seasonal treats that Panera offers is the heart-shaped sugar cookie with colorful icing. Jimmy Junior, known for dancing his way into Tina's heart, would receive this cookie from her. He plays her love interest, but his reciprocated feelings are constantly fleeting. The new version of this cookie each season (snowflake cookie, tulip, etc.) represents his personality.
9. Mr. Fischoeder the Landlord - Bear Claw
A wealthy man who owns many buildings in the town is unexpectedly obsessed with Bob. They may argue and struggle to co-exist, but their feud ends in constant compromises. Both Mr. Fischoeder and a bear claw share complexity and a representation of indulgence. They are both distinct in their own ways but remain intriguing and mysterious.
10. Zeke - Cinnamon Crunch Bagel
Rounding off this list of characters is Zeke, Jimmy Junior's best friend and confidant. Zeke's high energy and boldness make him a great companion to all the kids in the show. He is protective of his friends as his versatile personality accommodates the characteristics of each Belcher kid. This bagel has bold cinnamon flavors with a crunchy exterior that matches the presence of Zeke. It's a best-selling bagel flavor at Panera, and Zeke's distinctive character separates him from the rest.
Funnily enough, my family's go-to pastries match the ones I would give to these characters. My dad constantly snacks on oatmeal raisin cookies, my mom orders a chocolate croissant everywhere she goes, my sister loves a warm cinnamon roll, and my brother and I love cookies. This comfort cartoon show will always remain special to me as I see a piece of my family in every character. If you ever find yourself sitting down to watch Bob's Burgers, go to your nearest Panera Bread and grab a pastry based on the character you resemble the most!